Last week I was having dinner with a friend and she asked how my work was going. “It’s really good,” I replied. “But I’m slammed with work. I’m working flat out during the day and I’m having to do work in the evenings too.” She looked at me, put her fork down and said something that seemed so obvious, but it hadn’t occurred to me before she said it.
My biggest failing as a freelance writer
“Don’t you work for yourself?” she asked me, knowing full well that I do.
“Yes,” I said.
“So aren’t you in charge of how busy you are?”
It was time for me to put my fork down.
I realised in that moment that I’ve been so worried that this year wouldn’t work out, that I wouldn’t be able to support our family financially, that I wouldn’t have enough work and that being a freelance writer was a ridiculous way to try and earn a living, that I have said yes to pretty much every piece of work that has come my way.
Now don’t get me wrong – more than 80 per cent of the time, I am in the incredibly lucky position of having editors and clients approach me with work.
But that means I feel grateful.
I say yes.
Even if I have no idea how I’m going to fit it in. I say yes.
I get worried – if I say no, will an editor turn their back on me?
If I say no, will my work suddenly dry up in some sort of karmic revenge?
If I say no, am I being too precious? What’s a few extra hours of work in the evening? I know so many other freelancers would love to have editors approach them with work.
In the middle of the year I learnt a big lesson about saying no to jobs that were an overstretch in terms of my ability and where I knew I wasn’t suited. Since then I’ve been able to say no to opportunities like that one.
I have always known that I am responsible for the amount of work I actively go after. If it’s a quiet month I know that I have to bring in the work.
But opportunities that come to me, where it’s in my wheelhouse, where I could do it if I just worked a couple of extra hours in the evenings or that would bring in a few more hundred dollars, I’ve said yes.
You are probably much quicker than me and realise that as a freelancer we do have control over the amount of work that we accept, but what can I say? I’m a slow learner sometimes.
I also know that saying no to paying gigs is something other freelance writers struggle with.
I know too well that freelancing is fickle, that every day journalists are losing their jobs and so when an opportunity comes my way I’m not good at saying no.
When I post my monthly income update next week you’ll see that I’ve had a big month, but I’ve been too busy. And I’m not wearing that as a badge of honour – I have felt consumed by what I have to do and it’s meant that I’m not working as far in advance as I’d like to be.
So my aim for the next month (and forever after) is to take a leaf out of Megan Blandford’s book and really consider my capacity (not just my cognitive capacity but life capacity) to undertake work when it is offered to me.
That’s my goal, anyway.
What do you struggle with most as a freelance writer? Are you better than me at saying no?